(Source: hunterisacapn, via embarks)
2763
‘THIS LITTLE PIGGY WENT TO MARKET’ OH GOD IT’S NOT TO BUY FOOD, HE WENT AS FOOD. THE LITTLE PIGGY WENT AS FOOD.
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
![stilfled:
dunrath:
The Story So Far - Swords And Pens (On a halfpipe) [x]
hella tight](http://25.media.tumblr.com/37e2aac17798b4084d194365272575f4/tumblr_mlhc9nSXVf1r85uiyo1_250.gif)
this pen will never know what a bagel tastes like
Go to sleep
I wasn’t going to reblog this but it spoke to me on a personal level
when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”
(via paging-doctorfaggot)
How to braid your hair:
- Wet hair
- Comb through
- Separate at the part
- Draw a pentagram on the floor
- Perform blood sacrifice
- Offer up your soul to the devil
- Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
- Summon Satan
- Ask Satan to braid your hair
You know what?
Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?
Thirty-fucking-seven.
And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”
(via fuckyeahloldemort)
OH MY GOSH
THAT IS A TURTLE
AND HE IS CRAWLING TOWARDS ME
AND HE HAS BIG SHINY EYES
SADFHASDKJFAHDSJFA
HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE THIS TURTLE
I think this turtle can cause world peace
(Source: thelegendaryunicorn, via trogdorlantern)
